Brian Eno has said, “I am extremely uncomfortable as the focal point, in the spotlight. I really like the behind-the-scenes role because all my freedom is there.” I can’t find any fault in his statement. I have worked as a behind-the-scenes photographer on feature and independent film sets in North Texas for several years. …
Aging and Birthdays
About 30 minutes ago, I became one year older. I have a lot of emotions around this birthday, some good and some not so good. What follows might be a random/stream-of-consciousness mess but know that it will be largely unedited. It is just what it is. For example, I thought earlier tonight that I needed…
Be in the Photo
For the past several years, I have attended funerals and memorial services for friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. One of the most common elements of the funeral/memorial service ceremony is a slideshow of the deceased’s life. This slide show can demonstrate the highlights of this person’s life, how many people loved them, and how many people…
Overthinking
Hi. My name is Billie, and I’m an overthinker. I am overthinking the past and worrying about the future. Every.Minute.of.Everyday. Isn’t this the way? Admitting the problem is the first step. Joking aside, and I wasn’t really joking, I do overthink. My brain never seems to stop running at full speed. To my knowledge, I…
Proposals
When I was a girl, I never (ever) thought about my future wedding. I never kept a scrapbook that outlined what kind of flowers I’d want or if I wanted a horse-drawn carriage or if the reception would be catered. I never picked out the kind of ring I’d want, and I never thought about…
Choices
Several years ago, I volunteered in domestic violence shelters in North Texas. I did this as part of the work of Write to Succeed, Inc., a volunteer literacy nonprofit organization I directed. Then later, in South Texas, I volunteered at the local domestic violence shelter as part of my academic research. The work was meaningful,…
Sharp Photography (redux)
After I left the teaching profession in 2016, I began working for myself as a photographer. This is something I’d always wanted to do, but for a variety of reasons excuses, I didn’t do it. In 2016, I finally took the plunge and opened Sharp Photography. I loved being a full-time photographer! It was a…
Abandoned Buildings
Old, abandoned buildings catch the attention of my photographic eye. I’m unsure if that’s part of my pathology or if I just like thinking about the history of these old spaces. I took this image in December of 2005. I haven’t been to this area since I took this photograph, so I’m unsure what’s there…
The Trial Balloon
A few days ago, I posted a short narrative from my upcoming memoir. This was the first piece I wrote when I started the project over a year ago, and I see it as a cornerstone of the larger work. But I posted it early for a couple of reasons: how would readers from various…
High School Graduation (May 1977)
My father brought a handgun to my high school graduation, and he threatened to kill my mother’s boyfriend if he attended the ceremony. Earlier that spring, my mother had left us, as she was having an affair with her best friend’s husband. By May of that year, she wanted to bring her boyfriend– the friend’s…